Anger is something we’ve all experienced. It is a foundational human emotion that has helped us survive. Sometimes it pops up when we’re least expecting it, and we may even feel confused as to why we’re feeling it. Maybe someone looked at you the wrong way, or your coffee wasn’t as hot as you wanted it to be. Other times, we feel anger for a specific reason. Maybe your sibling took your favourite shirt without asking, or your friend cancelled a dinner plan you were looking forward to,
Anger can be a good thing – it can give us a way to express our negative feelings and emotions, or motivate us to find a solution to our problems. However, it is helpful to know where anger stems from to navigate the most helpful next steps we should be taking. When I am feeling angry, I want to know why. If I can’t pinpoint why I’m having an emotional response, I ask myself:
– Did I get enough sleep last night?
– Have I eaten today?
– Am I feeling another emotion, like jealousy, that may be contributing to this feeling?
– Why am I angry at this person/situation?
A lot of the time, our anger may arise because we have been neglecting other aspects in our life. When we haven’t gotten enough sleep, our exhaustion forces us to walk a delicate beam. When we are not well rested, it is harder to control our angry impulses. It is easier to react than to effectively process what is happening and provide an appropriate response. This goes for a lack of nutrition. I am far too familiar with the term, “hanger” – anger arising because I’m so hungry! When we identify the reason for our anger, or the vulnerabilities that have gotten us here, we can adjust and do what we need to bring ourselves some ease.
However, sometimes anger can be a negative thing. Excessive and prolonged anger not only damages relationships with others, but may also induce legal and final problems and produce physical concerns. So, how can we work on anger?
– Sleep: getting a good night’s rest is essential to controlling those angry impulses
– Taking deep breaths to take a pause and re-evaluate the situation
– Know that it’s ok to get mad: certain situations deserve anger, as long as it is expressed without harm to others
– Distance yourself from the situation that is producing the anger
– Take some time to figure out how to solve your problem
Managing anger can be difficult, but you do not have to do it alone. Reach out to us for a free consultation and find a therapist to best support you through your concerns!
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