There are more than eight billion people inhabiting the planet Earth. Still, the world can feel like a lonely place. In a society that values individualization and autonomy, it’s possible to feel isolated and detached from those around us. We then strive for friendships that are either few and far between or don’t manage to fill that void. Often, this is because we are neglecting the most important relationship of all—befriending me, or building a relationship with ourselves.
Befriending Me: Your Approach To A Positive Relations With Yourself
What does nurturing your relationship with yourself look like? It goes deeper than simply liking yourself. Just like any other relationship, it is possible to like someone and not consider them a friend. To define a relationship as a friendship, there is a certain amount of appreciation, depth, care, acceptance, and respect involved.
Think about some of your closest friendships. These could be recent friendships or friendships from long ago. What stands out to you that distinguishes this friendship from other acquaintances? From my own personal experience, the strongest friendships were the relationships where the time spent together was fun and enjoyable. You know, those friendships where you can laugh and talk about anything.
The strongest friendships were the ones where you could be yourself without fear of judgment. And through difficult times, you could count on your friend to be there for you. Unfortunately, friendships can ebb and flow with time, and sometimes friendships become less accessible at different times in your life.
Befriend Yourself
You may also start to rely on your friends too heavily, which may feel burdensome to some. This could be the case if you notice friends starting to distance themselves. In this case, one option is to seek accessible counselling, often available in person or through online counselling. Another option is to find ways to tap into an often-underutilized resource—yourself.
Taking the time to befriend yourself can have great benefits, including reduced feelings of anxiety and loneliness.
Values
Understanding what’s most important to you and what you stand for is an important element of befriending yourself. This study found that an individual’s values were linked to improved self-esteem. By understanding your values, you can then support your value system by setting boundaries in areas of conflict or tension.
Strengths
Make a list of all the things about yourself that you like. This might feel hard. We often feel icky about listing our strengths. We’ve often been raised to feel like we should be striving to be better, which results in thinking we aren’t good enough as we are. The reality is that everyone has strengths and, by ignoring these strengths, we like ourselves less and less. By acknowledging and praising our strengths, we can start to like ourselves more—a huge part of befriending yourself!
Self-Compassion
It’s so easy to focus on the negatives in our lives that we often discount the positives. Even when we fail or struggle, there are good things we can highlight. For example, if you try a new business venture and it doesn’t work out, self-compassion might look like reminding yourself that you’re a risk-taker. Check out this article on cultivating compassion and this article on befriending your inner critic to learn some other tips and tricks to embrace a compassionate lens.
Self-care
Engaging in self-care can look like many things. When befriending yourself, it’s important to hone in on the things that are meaningful to you and line up with your values. This could look like activities that foster self-expression and creativity. It could also look like taking time to take care of your mind and body through physical fitness. Prioritizing your mental health through therapy and accessible mental health services is another great way to promote self-care.
At the end of the day, it’s always beneficial to prioritize your relationship with yourself. And if you feel hesitant, ask yourself: what have you got to lose? If you try the above tricks, the worst outcome is that you’ve acted a little kinder to yourself. For more information on befriending yourself, check out this YouTube video.
Get Support And Therapy From Rebound Total Health
At Rebound Total Health, we can help you build a positive healthy relationship with yourself. Learn how to befriend yourself through smart approaches and activities.
Ready to take the first step? Connect with a therapist today and get the support you need. At Rebound Total Health, we offer virtual online counselling. Together, you can navigate your journey as you befriend yourself!
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