Therapy for Anxiety Brainspotting Therapy

Helping myself to help others

As a practitioner currently working two jobs and completing an education, the idea of getting a break from work seemed ideal, even if it just meant a couple weeks. The reality, however, was not all it was chopped up to be, especially as our country – and society at large – took a turn for the worse. Now, having developed a weird sleep schedule, new and rather creative eating habits and a completely upside-down daily routine, I find myself reflecting more and more on the unique challenges helpers face during times where we all, in some way or another, are struggling with the ominousness and ambiguity of the state of the world.

The first hurdle I faced was my work-transition. Many of us are privileged enough to be able to work from home, and for that I am grateful, though the adjustment for many has not been easy. For us mental health practitioners, finding ways to reach our clients during such trying times, whether it be telehealth options, virtual sessions or others, was a top priority. In the ideal world, all of our clients would have made the smooth transition to virtual counselling and maintained their ability to afford our sessions with no client left hanging. But our world isn’t so ideal right now, is it? Unfortunately, many practitioners, including my self, have been dealing with the stress of finding and transitioning to new, secure, and properly-functioning online platforms all while trying to provide affordable and accessible options to our clients without compromising our bottom line. The end results? Mixed. Some clients simply want nothing to do with online or tele counselling or simply can’t afford it during the economic turmoil of our society while others are completely comfortable with a new online platform and have been lucky enough to maintain their employment during these times.

Hurdle 2 – helping clients through it. I’m not sure about the experiences of others, but almost all of my sessions since the development of COVID-19 and the recent shutdowns of businesses have had a significant focus on COVID-19 and coping – and rightfully so! For each of these clients, I felt myself relating more and more to what they were saying and the negative emotions they were experiencing throughout all of this chaos. Stress, anxiety, catastrophizing thinking, fears, future-focus thinking – I felt it and thought it all – but could I tell them that? Finding the balance between empathising and healthy amounts of self-disclosure vs countertransference and perpetuating the client’s negative emotions isn’t exactly easy in times like these. We all know the delicate balance of monitoring ourselves when we identify strongly with a client or their experiences, but I’m not sure there’s a handbook for how to navigate these experiences as a counsellor when the entire world is experiencing similar feelings and emotions. Or maybe there is, I just haven’t found it yet!

Hurdle 3 is probably one of the most relatable – the struggles of social distancing. I thought staying home would be a nice break, but after a few days, my opinion changed. I never really understood the concept stir crazy until now and let me tell you – I’m not a fan. There’s only so much time a person can spend relaxing on the couch, painting their nails or flipping through Instagram before total boredom sets in.  At these times, I’d usually implement some of my go-to self care and entertainment activities like a late-night gym session or a small get-together with family members – maybe cook a meal for my parents or go to a movie. But what happens when all my top activities are taken away due to social distancing?  My answer- get creative.

Practice what I preach.

My first goal has been to keep myself productive and entertained. I relied on the tools that I have so frequently preached to so many of my clients to keep me from slipping into a sad funk. Take social support for example. No, I can’t hang out with friends or go see my parents, but there’s nothing stopping me from a skype call, phone call or virtual get-together of any sort. Keeping on top of daily chores has brought some productivity into my life – a clean house and fresh laundry go a long way in keeping my productivity in check and my neat-freak side appeased. Learning something new has kept my brain stimulated and made this break feel more purposeful – what a perfect time to take some additional classes like a free telehealth counselling course. Then there’s the tasks that I’ve always wanted to do, but never had time for. For me that meant building a new website, deep-cleaning the storage room, planting a garden and training my pet pig some new tricks (she can now spin in circles!) Sure, these might not be my go-to activities or self care routines, but finding new ways to keep myself busy and happy has been fun and rewarding. For me, I realized that this is the time to practice what I preach. I can’t sit and wait for the boredom to subside, the routine to come back or the exciting-ness of outside life to keep me motivated – I have to create my own form of happiness and self-care with what I’ve got.

There’s power in a positive perspective.

In times like these its’ so easy to look at what we’ve lost. But a shift in perspective can keep our mind in a much healthier space. I’ve made a specific point to focus on what I do have throughout this unknown period of social distancing. Things like my health, a job, a safe and warm space to spend my time during these isolation periods, technology, a fridge full of food or even a loving pet to accompany me through this. Sometimes we forget these day-to-day privileges and making a point to value them has changed my perspective on this entire situation. While the world may seem like a scary place, by taking the necessary precautions and following the government mandated guidelines, we are working towards a solution – doing our part is all we can do. With doing our part comes the acceptance of responsibility and relinquishing those things that are out of our control. While it sounds cliché, realizing that all I can do is my best in this situation was important. Offering my clients as many options as I could and doing my best to reach out went a long way with many clients, but for others, I simply had to relinquish the control and understand that there is nothing I can do to remedy the situation of others nor the situation of our society as a whole. Doing my best to help the things in my control and releasing control of the things I couldn’t was a huge step towards reducing my stress and improving my perspective of the situation.

It’s these very same helpful tools that have helped me to help clients. By practicing what I preach and changing my perspective, I’ve allowed myself to empathise with clients and relate while shifting towards healthy solutions rather than dwelling too heavily on the issue. Through much self reflection and my own supervision, I have been able to set my feelings a side and instead worked from own successes in this situation to help others. While I continue to trudge forward through these chaotic and unknown times, I’ve learned that without properly helping myself, I can’t properly help others. While it’s our job to help others, we also need to remember the importance of helping ourselves and doing what it takes to maintain our own mental health. Whether it developing new coping strategies or shifting the way my clients think about the world at large right now – I couldn’t have helped them as well as I have without first doing the work myself.

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