There are 7 basic emotions which are universal to all humans.
- Joy/ Happiness
- Sadness
- Disgust
- Fear
- Anger
- Surprise
- Contempt
If you are a Disney/Pixar fan, then (minus surprise and contempt) you may notice that these are the names of the popular characters from the movies Inside Out and Inside Out 2. If not see the trailer below:
In 1967, Dr. Paul Eckman discovered there were 6 (now seven) emotions that could be conveyed through facial expressions universally without language barrier. Emotions are an automatic response we feel based on our perception of important events (past, present, and future).
While Inside Out provided the world a great visualization about emotions and how multiple emotions can be expressed within the same event, sometimes they are still poorly understood and more importantly poorly regulated.
What is Emotion Regulation?
Emotion regulation is the process in which individuals can manage and respond to their emotional experiences. Regulation of emotions allows individuals to adapt to their environment in an effectively and emotionally balanced way. Emotional balance is needed for responses to be made without being overwhelmed. Responses or decisions are made with what is sometimes referred to as the “Wise Mind” – a balance between reasonable/rational/logical decision-making processes while acknowledging and validating one’s feelings.
Some common emotion regulation coping skills are:
- Talking with friends or family
- Exercising
- Meditation or Yoga
- Journal Reflections
However, proper emotion regulation takes time to practice being able to apply effective skills requires emotional awareness, acknowledgement, and validation of one’s feelings.
Some ineffective long-term coping skills are:
- Abusing alcohol or substances
- Self-harm
- Avoidance or Suppression of emotions
- Aggression (Physical or Verbal)
Ineffective coping mechanisms are often sought out because they provide individuals quick short-term relief but may not be sustainable long-term as they do not help process or validate emotions, but rather bury them. However, emotions that we feel do not simply go away if we attempt to repress them, they build up over time and eventually re-surface at some point.
Signs of that Repressed Emotions may be re-surfacing:
- Depression
- High Blood Pressure
- Heart Disease
- Anxiety
- Low Energy
- Digestive Problems
- Unable to face conflict
- Difficulty connecting with others
- Difficulty voicing needs
How to Regulate Emotions
Giving voice to your emotions is extremely important, acknowledgement and validation does not mean we cannot hold space for other perspectives, both things can happen at the same time. We can validate how something made us feel and understand additional intent.
Accepting, describing, and sharing one’s emotions promotes one’s well-being without self-judgment. It is understandable to not want to act out when feeling sad or angry as they may influence behaviours that we could regret.
Distress tolerance skills can help with this. Distress tolerance is an individual’s capacity to experience and withstand challenging negative psychological states (Gawrysiak et al., 2016). Plainly, it defines the ability to endure or tolerate negative emotions. Even those who develop a non-judgmental distress tolerance skill may reduce their stress.
Even just starting by rating your emotions on a scale from 1 to 10 can help identify whether you can effectively regulate your emotions. If you find that you feel angry at a level 8, 9, 10, it is probably best not to act on your emotions until you have the chance to calm down.
For more distress tolerance tools follow the link below:
https://dbt.tools/distress_tolerance/index.php
Emotion regulation helps promote self-compassion. If you are finding it difficult to implement effective emotion regulation skills, talking to a mental health professional can begin the process.
Your mental health matters and emotions are a part of that.
Related Topics:
What Is Mom Rage And How To Manage It Successfully
Additional Resources
Gawrysiak, M. J., Leong, S. H., Grassetti, S. N., Wai, M., Shorey, R. C., & Baime, M. J. (2016). Dimensions of distress tolerance and the moderating effects on mindfulness-based stress reduction. Anxiety, stress, and coping, 29(5), 552–560. https://doi.org/10.1080/10615806.2015.1085513
Russell, B. S., Lincoln, C. R., & Starkweather, A. R. (2019). Distress tolerance intervention for improving self-management of chronic conditions: A systematic review. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 37(1), 74-86.
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-to-know-repressed-emotions
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/emotions
https://www.paulekman.com/universal-emotions/
https://www.selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu/perch/resources/what-is-emotion-regulationsinfo-brief.pdf