The term “narcissism” has been popularized in online spaces throughout the past few years, and many individuals are gaining insight into how they may have been impacted by narcissists throughout life. For some, this awareness begins when reflecting on experiences with a narcissistic parent and how those dynamics shaped their development.
It is important to remember the distinction between Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and narcissistic traits.
NPD is a formal diagnosis that can be assigned by a psychologist, and it includes persistent traits such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and an excessive need for admiration.
For a diagnosis to be given, these traits, among others, must be persistent, stable, and cause significant distress in the individual’s life.
In Canada, about 1% of the population falls into the NPD diagnostic criteria; however, many individuals can recognize these traits in the people around them.
A parent, relative, boss, friend, or sibling doesn’t need an official NPD diagnosis to exhibit narcissistic traits.
What is a Narcissistic Parent?
A narcissistic parent is not necessarily only someone with an NPD diagnosis, but it can also refer to parents who consistently prioritize their own needs and image over their child’s emotional experience.
For children of narcissistic parents they may have felt that love was conditional and unpredictable, leading to long-term struggles with self-doubt, people-pleasing, and difficulty trusting their own needs.Â
Signs You May Have Been Raised by a Narcissistic Parent
- You felt responsible for your parents’ emotions
- You were criticized and dismissed when expressing your own feelings
- You grew up with unclear or shifting rules and expectations
- You felt valued for your achievements rather than for who you are
- You learned to stay quiet and compliant to avoid conflict
Children of narcissistic parents learn how to adapt to survive; however, sometimes these adaptations can follow them into adulthood.
Long-Term Impacts
As adults, children of narcissistic parents may experience chronic self-doubt and inner criticism. They may have difficulty setting boundaries and saying no, and experience a fear of conflict or abandonment. They may over-function in relationships and may feel disconnected from their own needs or identity.
These traits do not mean something is wrong with them, but rather, the coping mechanisms that kept them safe as a child may no longer be helpful in adulthood.
How Therapy Can Help: Work with Rebound Total Health Therapists
Therapy can provide a safe space to explore childhood experiences with narcissistic parents and to identify how these experiences impact the individual as an adult.
In addition to this, therapy can help one reconnect with their emotions and needs while reducing shame and self-blame. Therapy can teach practical skills around setting boundaries while helping clients to build relationships that feel more secure. Children of narcissistic parents may have internalized an overly critical inner voice, and therapy can help to enhance self-compassion.
Have a narcissistic parent and need help? The team of therapists at Rebound Total Health offers in-person sessions in Hamilton and online virtual therapy for Ontario residents. We are here to support you as you start your healing journey.
Book a free consultation today and get started.
For news and educational information, follow us on Facebook and Instagram.
Related: Dealing with A Narcissistic Partner – Key Coping Strategies