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Negative Self-Talk: How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Build Self-Compassion

Would you speak to your friends or those you care about the way you speak to yourself? Are “I’m not good enough” or  “I can’t do anything right” thoughts that you tell yourself often? Has your inner critic been taking over lately?  Listen. It happens. But left unchecked, this negative self-talk can have a serious impact on your emotional well-being.

You may be wondering that if it is so “bad” then why do we do it?

What Is Negative Self-Talk?

Negative self-talk is a misguided protective mechanism that we have likely learned from past experiences, societal expectations, and our desire to avoid failure. In other words, we use it as a way to defend ourselves from disappointment.

So, if it is shielding us from disappointment, why is it “bad”?

It can lead to issues such as:

  1. Increased stress and anxiety
  2. Lower self-esteem and confidence
  3. Avoidance of challenges and new opportunities
  4. Projecting your self-doubt outwards which causes relationship strain

If that’s not enough to convenience you, negative self-talk can lead to other issues that we like to call distorted thinking. This is where there is a pattern of irrational or exaggerated thoughts that warps our perception of ourselves and the world around us. These patterns can increase self-criticism and anxiety, keeping us stuck in a loop of negativity.

As you can see, unchecked negative self-talking can be detrimental. But, you can make a change!

How To Manage Negative Self-Talk: Being Kinder To Yourself

Here are some tips and tricks to address negative self-talk and work towards being kinder to yourself.

  • Recognize your inner critic
  • Pay attention to when that little voice makes an appearance and begin to become aware of when you are engaging in negative self-talk. Awareness is KEY.
  • Question its validity
  • Ask yourself questions like “is this real or true?” “is it based on fact or fear” and “is this something I would say to a friend?”
  • Change the thought
  • Replace your harsh judgements with more compassionate ones. For example:
    • Negative thought: “I hate my body”
    • Alternative thought: “My body allows me to do the things I love”

Retrain Your Brain

The more that you are able to recognize, challenge, and then reframe your negative self-talk, you will begin to retrain your brain to throw it away and replace it with thoughts that build you up and help you thrive. Crazy right? I think so too!

Check out our other posts like 8 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem or Befriending Me: How to Build a Stronger Relationship with Yourself which can help on your self-talk journey.

Get Therapy Support: Work With Rebound Total Health

Ready to tackle your negative self-talk with therapy? The team at Rebound Total Health can help you as you begin your journey to managing your inner critic.

Book a therapy session! Connect with a therapist today and get the support you need. At Rebound Total Health in Hamilton, Ontario, we offer in-person therapy as well as virtual online counselling

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