The first thing we may think of when considering postpartum mental health are postpartum depression, or PPD, and postpartum anxiety. According to the National Centre for Biotechnology Information, one in seven women experience diagnosable PPD, in which symptoms like low mood, loss of interest in usual hobbies, guilt, loss of energy, changes in appetite, or fatigue are present in the first four weeks after birth (Mughal et al., 2022). Similar symptoms including lack of sleep are present for mothers who experience postpartum anxiety (Collier, 2021). However, something else lurks in the background for many women during this demanding time, and may have symptoms similar to those of both PPD and postpartum anxiety – and that’s grief.
It is odd to imagine that grief would be a part of the postpartum period, especially if there were few birth and postpartum complications, and if baby is happy and healthy. However, even in the least complicated situations, mothers may experience grief. Grief is, simply put, the normal and natural response to big changes in life – for example, life transitions like moving away, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a dream, or a change in appearance. New mothers specifically experience one of the biggest changes of their life after having a baby. Women in the postpartum period may feel a sense of loss about the life they once had, or about the experience of being pregnant and having baby so close (Moeller, 2017). They may feel loss over how they thought their postpartum period would be like, about the loss of their ideal birth situation, or loss of their old identity. Hormonal levels, specifically estrogen and progesterone levels, also drastically change more in this period than perhaps any other in the female lifespan (Mughal et al., 2022). Sleep changes and changes to daily routine also impact new mothers. If added to these normal, natural experiences of loss and change are difficulties breastfeeding, issues bonding, other perinatal complications, or memories of a traumatic birth experience, mothers may feel completely overwhelmed at their situation.
There are several ways that moms may get help to process postpartum grief. As with postpartum depression, one option is psychotherapy (National Institute of Mental Health, n.d.). Schlechter (2020), Licensed Social Worker, also recommends the following for struggling new moms:
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Name the Grief: Coming to terms that you are experiencing feelings of loss is a first step. Once this is done, mothers can express their feelings in healthy ways like visual arts and journaling.
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Connect with Others: Finding other moms who may be in a similar place during the perinatal period, whether through group therapy or an informal group, may help to validate feelings of loss and change.
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Bond with Baby about Milestones: Practicing gratitude with and around your baby when they show signs of health, vitality, and growth is one way to balance feelings of loss with acceptance of and adjustment to a new reality.
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Recognize Grieving is Non-Linear: When moms accept that the process of grieving may be different for all women, and does not follow any rules, they allow the wisdom of grief to help them appreciate what once was and to enrich their understanding of this new change.
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Vent Physically: Grief may be held in the body in the form of tension or pain without new moms noticing. Yoga, massage, bodywork, breathwork, relaxation, and physical exercise may help them to release physical manifestations of grief and express it in new ways.
Many women experience what is commonly called the “baby blues” during the demanding postpartum period. A new mother might experience one or more of the symptoms of PPD or postpartum anxiety and may be diagnosed. However, few mothers recognize the grief that may be affecting them during the postpartum period. If you or a loved one have experienced feelings of sadness and loss during the postpartum period, know you’re not alone. Awareness is the first step to healing. By using the strategies above, using online mental health support, and seeking the help of a medical professional or Rebound Total Health mental health practitioner when needed, you can shift your postpartum experience so it is more manageable and supports the health and wellness of both you and baby.