Men and Healthy Relationships
In today’s society, men are often overlooked when we discuss mental health matters and relationship struggles or pressures. This is unfortunate because men are important participants in healthy relationships and enjoy an improved quality of life when they are in a healthy relationship. Right now, men are at an increased risk of poor mental health. Unhealthy or absent relationships contribute to these struggles. However, making a few changes to one’s relationship can drastically help improve relationship quality and individual quality of life.
Healthy masculinity, strength-based relationship skills, and healthy conflict are three ways that men can improve relationship health and wellbeing.
First, by learning to better understand your masculine side through connection, motivation, and authenticity, men can be in tune to their masculine side in a more positive way. Often, masculinity is associated with negative traits, which can cause internal conflict for many men. By discovering your own values, men can re-write their own healthy idea of masculinity.
Second, by embracing and accepting your strengths and the strengths of your partner, couples can be more non-judgemental of each other. This can also reduce self-criticism.
And third, by learning to engage in healthy conflict with our partners. Couples are often afraid to argue with their partners because they are uncomfortable with conflict. This causes our feelings to build and brew, often leading to resentment and increased frustration. By learning to engage in healthy conflict before it festers, a healthier relationship dynamic can be enjoyed by all.
Men’s mental health is often overlooked in conversations about mental health wellbeing. In 2023 alone, close to 2 million Canadian men reported mental health challenges. Unhealthy relationships and loneliness have been linked to poorer mental health.
Unhealthy relationships and being single (unmarried, divorced, or widowed) are predictors of suicidality in men. Canadian statistics show that men in unhealthy relationships are 3 to 4 times more likely to complete suicide than women. Phys.org conducted a study and found that courses that promote healthy masculinity in relationships and strength-based relationship skills are valuable to relationship quality, thus promoting well-being for men.
Healthy relationships are very beneficial for men. In fact, men in healthy relationships have been shown to live longer lives and are overall less stressed. They are more likely to have better coping strategies and report fewer instances of loneliness and depression.
Healthy Masculinity
One way to promote men’s wellbeing in relationships is to embrace healthy and healthy masculinity and strength-based relationship skills.
What does healthy masculinity look like? Researchers at Psychology Today found three key attributes that promote healthy masculinity.
Connection – to both our self and others through self-reflection, appreciation, and relationship building.
Motivation – for both personal growth and social change.
Authenticity – identifying and respecting personal values.
Strength-Based Relationship Skills
Strength-based relationship skills promotes focusing on each person’s strengths instead of weaknesses. How do we figure out what our relationship strengths are? This could look like asking three simple questions:
What has worked for you in the past?
What hasn’t worked for you in the past?
What do you think could work well in your situation now?
Understanding your strengths and recognizing the strengths of your partner helps to minimize self-criticism and criticism of others.
Embracing Healthy Conflict
Couples often shy away from conflict because of past experiences with unhealthy conflict. However, healthy and respectful conflict is beneficial in a healthy relationship and reduces feelings of resentment. One way to do engage in respectful conflict is to reduce reactivity by exploring how and why we react the way we do during conflict. This might look like exploring the emotions that come up. For example, some people react with anger during a conflict, while others may cry and feel sad. After identifying the emotions that come up, a trained men’s counsellor, couples therapist, or family therapist can assist in exploring what is driving this emotion. When you understand where the reactivity is coming from, it then becomes easier to manage.
Some other tips that positively impact men and their relationships:
Communication: Try listening and talking to your partner with curiosity and appreciation. This will neutralize any judgements that could pop up and encourages non-judgemental communication.
Working as a Team: Think and treat your partner as if you’re on the same team. This includes building trust and respect in the relationship.
Maintaining Individuality: It’s important to know yourself and what your values are. Often our values can make or break a relationship, but knowing what is important to you will promote a healthy relationship with your partner.
Healthy Boundaries: Knowing what your limitations are and respecting the limitations of others. Boundaries are the invisible line that we draw for what behaviours are acceptable to us. Learn more about healthy boundaries here.
Modeling Kindness: Acting from a place of kindness promotes feelings of positivity and care towards your partner. You may also find that modeling kindness breeds kindness around you.
If you’re struggling with an unhealthy relationship or relationship pressures, a couple’s therapist, family therapist, or men’s counsellor can help. Mental health matters. Take the first step to access mental health services by contacting us at Rebound Total Health today!
