Therapy for Self-Esteem & Confidence.

Feeling down on yourself? Are you overly critical of your body, appearance or constantly worried about what other people think? Struggling to make decisions with confidence? Feeling lost, unsatisfied, stuck or confused? Life is tough, and sometimes we’re tough on ourselves. Having strong, healthy relationships with others begins by having a healthy relationship with ourselves. Without healthy levels of self-esteem and self-confidence, our quality of life can suffer and we are at an increased risk for excessive sadness, negativity, and even depression.

What is Low Self-Esteem?

Having high self-esteem means having confidence in your own abilities and worth. When self-esteem is low, we can experience a lack of confidence and begin to feel bad about ourselves. Low self-esteem can leave individuals feeling unloved, awkward, or incompetent. You might notice the effects of low self-esteem on your relationship with other people. Are you struggling to open up, be yourself or connect? Perhaps you’re avoiding conversations, social situations or just don’t want to be seen or heard. Clients with low-self-esteem are often extremely hard on themselves. Perhaps your inner self-critic is loud and you are quick to find all of the negative things about you. Ever gotten a compliment and refused to accept it? Often those negative voices in our head take over and we struggle to see the positive.  Having low self-esteem and low confidence can significantly impact your quality of life.

What does self-esteem and confidence look like?

Establishing healthy levels of self-esteem goes far beyond just feeling good about yourself. Developing healthy levels of self-esteem helps you identify your wants, needs and boundaries. Those with high self-esteem have effective communication and decision-making abilities and have overall healthier relationships and adaptability to change. But establishing self-esteem and confidence isn’t about feeling warm and fuzzy all the time – it’s about establishing balance. Having healthy levels of self-esteem means we can receive a compliment without becoming conceited, and we can take constructive criticism without feeling low, depressed, or self-deprecating. Self-esteem allows us to have a balanced mindset, to take the good with the bad, and have harmony between our inner self critic and inner self-compassion. With counselling and psychotherapy for self-esteem and confidence, we can help you work towards having a sound relationship with yourself.

9 Signs of Low Self-Esteem

1.      You have difficulty standing up for yourself

2.     You apologize excessively or experience feelings of guilt for everyday actions

3.     You don’t feel deserving

4.     You have difficulty making your own choices

5.     You lack boundaries

6.      You have a negative self-perception

7.      You’re critical or have an abusive internal dialogue

8.      Frequently comparing yourselves to others

9.     Joking about yourself in a negative way

What can therapy do to support self-esteem & confidence?

When working with clients who want to improve their self-esteem or their levels of confidence, there’s a variety of approaches we can take, depending on what works best for you! One of the areas we may explore is your values - who are you, what is meaningful to you and who do you want to be as a person? That gives us a road map of where we’re going when working towards that self confident self. Your therapy might involve unpacking deeply rooted beliefs about self that may have come from historical traumas or have simply been learned over time. This may involve understanding that inner critic in your mind, and getting to know kinder parts of yourself that are more inline with your values and who you actually want to be as a person. Your therapist may incorporate day-to-day strategies such as practicing assertive communication, learning how to set boundaries or ways to learn to love and accept yourself. Often times, we look at the kind ways in which you may treat other loved ones in your life – the ways you treat a child, a best friend or partner. When we examine those interactions, we can often find that warm, self confident, kind self. Now if only we can teach that part how to be nicer to YOU. We’re on it.

What are some strategies to support low self esteem?

DEARMAN Acronym

The Dearman acronym is a great acronym to reminder in situations when you need to assert a boundary!

 

Describe the details of the situation
Express your emotions and thoughts
Assert by asking for what you want (or saying no)
Reinforce by rewarding, not punishing
Mindful: stay focused on the issue
-   Avoid attacks, distractions, and side tracking
Appear Confident
- Talk, walk and act with confidence.
Negotiate
- Be willing to offer an alternative where it’s applicable!

Self Esteem Journal

Spend time daily reflecting on the positives! Carve out time in your day to reflect out loud or In your journal about the following:

1)       What’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

2)      What’s one thing you’re grateful for?

3)      What’s one thing you accomplished today?

4)      What’s something you’ve learned recently?

5)      What’s one thing you’re excited for?

How Can We Help You?

Learn to recognize the causes of low self esteem and monitor negative influences over your self image. Discover new, more positive, and realistic ways of viewing yourself while developing your confidence and self-worth. Learn how to awaken your inner self-compassion to combat your inner self-critic that has been so loud for so long. The therapeutic relationship with your therapist is a safe, balanced space to learn how to establish self-confidence and balance your mindset with someone who is in your corner.

 

Self Esteem on the Bounce Back Blog

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