Men’s Counseling and Access to Mental Health
Do you identify as a man? Are you struggling with how you can better support yourself and find strategies to address challenges in your life? The stigma surrounding therapy has decreased in recent years, empowering more people to access mental health services. Mental health matters, and removing barriers to receiving counseling or therapy is part of the ongoing work that practitioners strive to achieve. However, there is a specific demographic (hi there, fellas) that, due to their upbringing, pressure from society, or past experiences, tends to forgo therapy.
To this day, there are still preconceived notions about what a ‘man’ should look like in the eyes of society. Many notions actually hinder their ability to regulate, emote, and communicate effectively. Whether this is perceived or felt as a problem by men is not the challenge; rather, the challenge is informing men that they can and are welcome into a space where they can build competence, resilience, communication skills, regulate effectively, recognize emotions, and process challenges that they have experienced safely.
Barriers and Better Understanding
Therapy is something that many people recognize as happening behind closed doors. Though this is true in most cases, it adds to the image of therapy being an unknown experience, one which many men choose not to pursue because they don’t understand what it is, how it works, or what it does. Also, depending on perceived ideas of therapy, men may think that a space to ‘talk about their feelings’ is not for them. However, this perception does not reflect the reality of what therapy is or how it can benefit them.
Therapy for all people consists of having a non-judgmental, confidential space where you can feel free to express yourself fully to someone who is not in your social circle or family. It is a place where you can get support, opinions/ideas, and learn new skills from someone who has no connection with anyone in your life except yourself. Of course, the idea of meeting a new person and telling them your challenges or speaking to them at all can be nerve-racking. Understanding that your therapist holds time for you to process and bring up whatever it is YOU need support with is essential to break the stigma for men to access mental health services.
For men who have tried to access mental health services, some have struggled with autonomy, professionalism, competency, and authenticity from practitioners (Kwon, et al., 2023). Combine all those worries or experiences with the systemic barriers that men face, which have caused many to ‘slip through the cracks’ before obtaining quality services, it is clear to see why so many men tend to avoid receiving care from a therapist (Kwon, et al., 2023). Luckily, with changes and ongoing improvements in the field, the ability to access services, re-enter into therapy, and provide feedback based on personal needs has become more streamlined and client-centered. This not only puts power back in the hands of clients wanting to access services but also those hoping to re-engage at a time they feel more prepared to build consistency with their care.
TEDx Talks - Breaking the Silence: Why Men Need to Talk About Their Mental Health | Henry Nelson Case | TEDxAUBG : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t54rqKbAxPE
What is ‘Men’s Therapy’
There can at times be a perception that something needs to be ‘wrong’ with a person for them to go to meet with a therapist. Unfortunately, in the case of most men, that is a more accurate statement than not. Men from ages 18-64 without a vigilant spouse or belief that they have not experienced a serious health event will often not have a yearly wellness exam (Novak, et al., 2019). In many cases with physical health, men have also been known to go without seeing a health practitioner even when feeling pain long-term (Novak, et al., 2019). Recognizing the mentality that men have around sitting and suffering silently, it makes sense why many men choose not to access mental health services, as it asks them to ask for help and talk about their feelings, which Solan (2016) details as the ultimate affront to many men’s masculinity.
Men may be able to recognize that something is ‘wrong’ or not that they are being challenged, stressed, or impacted by something without actually knowing what the root cause or problem is. This is where a therapist can support you! Men can recount the changes that they have experienced and allow their therapist to provide ideas or rationale for the source of the problem, as well as how to address it.
Men’s therapy looks at the specific needs of the individual but also recognizes that men (as with all people) are unique, and everyone deserves unique intervention to obtain quality care. Your therapist works to ensure the space is comfortable for you to fully express yourself. This requires building a relationship with your therapist based on trust. When a person is comfortable, they do not shy away from topics of conversation that they may find inappropriate or unnecessary to mention (even if it is impacting them). Topics like insecurities, anger challenges, sex, or unhealthy coping strategies may seem ‘taboo’ to discuss, but your therapist wants to hear it all (the best way for your therapist to support you is to have the full picture). Your therapist will get to know you as a person, noting how you were socialized, how your culture and upbringing instilled different beliefs for you so that there is a better understanding of why and how you make the choices that you do. This is not something to be ashamed of either! All people operate differently, and being able to read your instruction manual is beneficial before your therapist helps you work on yourself!
Men, it’s time to prioritize your mental well-being. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Take the first step towards a healthier mind today. Reach out to mental health professionals who understand what you are going through. You are not alone, and support is available. Your mental health matters - make your well-being a priority.
Therapy with men is different: https://www.chicagotherapy.org/resources/menstherapy
Psychology Today Men’s Therapists: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/ontario?category=mens-issues&page=7
References:
Case, H. N. (2023, June 2). Breaking the silence: Why men need to talk about their mental health | Henry Nelson Case | TEDxAUBG. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t54rqKbAxPE
Kwon, M., Lawn, S., & Kaine, C. (2023). Understanding Men's Engagement and Disengagement When Seeking Support for Mental Health. American journal of men's health, 17(2), 15579883231157971. https://doi.org/10.1177/15579883231157971
Novak, J. R., Peak, T., Gast, J., & Arnell, M. (2019). Associations Between Masculine Norms and Health-Care Utilization in Highly Religious, Heterosexual Men. American journal of men's health, 13(3), 1557988319856739. https://doi.org/10.1177/1557988319856739
Morin, M. (2018, October 24). Therapy with men is different (and why this matters). Chicago Collaborative Psychotherapy, LLC. https://www.chicagotherapy.org/resources/menstherapy
Solan, M. (2016, May 23). What men can gain from therapy. Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/men-can-gain-therapy-201605239660
