Pet Loss – Normalizing grief

As a new therapist in training who moved provinces during a pandemic, I quickly realized the positive aspects of having a pet in my life as I left my childhood dog back home. I begged my family to purchase a Bichon Frise puppy when I was in grade 6, and to be honest I secretly found a breeder, called them and told my parents they had a missed call to return. As someone who has a deep love for animals, I was ecstatic to welcome my new family member who would change my life perspective forever.

As I reflect on my childhood dog, I remember having a lifelong companion who helped me through life’s toughest challenges and helped me though the experiences of being bullied, decreased feelings of loneliness, anxiety and sadness. Having a four-legged family member helped improve my personal self-confidence, engage in self-care, exercise, and regulate my breathing on days that truly felt unmanageable.

I’m Wondering, What Does Your Pet Therapy Look Like?

Did you know that pet therapy is used in hospitals, schools and even conferences to help people cope with difficult emotions and support in times of need. Research shows that pet therapy is a recognizable treatment for individuals seeking treatment for depression. In addition to this, in a study done with Cancer patients receiving chemotherapy, those who engaged in pet therapy with a dog for one-hour sessions, once a week reported having half as severe symptoms of depression and feelings of anxiety than patients who had not (Cherniack & Cherniack, 2014). Another positive aspect of pet therapy is that it can be any animals such as horses, birds, cats or even snakes!

Normalizing the Stages of Pet Loss Grief

In the middle of the pandemic my dog of 16 years passed away and although I remembered the best times, the pain still felt unbearable. With the additional challenges of the pandemic, at the time it felt like an impossible hurdle out of my control which challenged my grieving process. I did not know therapy for pet loss was a possibility until I became a new student completing a masters in psychotherapy. Here’s what I learned about the grieving process, and I hope it helps YOU too!

Pet loss is a very real yet difficult stage of life to process and can be better understood through the 5 stages of Grief. It is important to express that it is completely normal to feel each emotion in all phases during pet loss and that you are not alone in this saddened, difficult life experience. Each phase looks very different for each individual and additional time may be spent navigating through the phases. These 5 Phases Include:

Denial

This can include feelings of shock, avoidance of acceptance, feelings of confusion related to the loss, feeling fearful, numb sensations within the body and internal self-blame. It could look like “I could of, should have and would have”. Know that you are not alone in this phase and denial is a normal emotion in processing loss.

Anger

This can look like feelings and waves of anger, frustration, shame, embarrassment or even anxiousness. It can include crying, yelling or feeling at a loss for words. During this time, doing a deep breathing exercise can deter hyperventilation and regulate blood pressure. Take a Deep Breath! We are with you.

Detachment

This can look like noticing a lack of energy, feeling helpless and overwhelmed in processing the new pet loss. Though difficult to process, finding a small piece of joy and implementing it into your daily routine can help enhance taking care of yourself during this difficult time.

Bargaining

This can look like reaching out to family, loved ones and friends for support to express your story of grief. Within this phase, at times we may feel challenged to seek the meaning for what has happened to our beloved pet. Turn to your support system! We can help guide you through the grieving process with lived experience, empathy and support.

Acceptance

This can look like forming a new meaning to life related to your pet loss. Here we can accept the loss of our loved one and explore new options to heal and work toward feeling comfortable in exploring future options. Giving our grief a name and exploring a new story can help us transition to acceptance.

Our aim at Rebound Total Health is to help guide you through the stages of grief in a supportive, caring atmosphere. We hear you; we are with you, and we are ready to help you! Reach out for a free chat to see how we can support you

References & Links


Cherniack EP, Cherniack AR. The benefit of pets and animal-assisted therapy to the health of older individuals. Curr Gerontol Geriatr Res. 2014;2014:623203. doi: 10.1155/2014/623203. Epub 2014 Nov 16. PMID: 25477957; PMCID: PMC4248608.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-losing-a-pet.htm

https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief#5-stages

https://ontariopetloss.org/articles

https://ontariospca.ca/blog/grieving-the-loss-of-a-pet-youre-not-alone/