How Creating Space Can Improve Our Well-being

What do you mean by “creating space”?

There are many ways we can interpret and go about creating space in our life. In this blog, we refer to space as any form of energy or time that we dedicate to our mental, emotional, and behavioural capacity. Creating space can look like setting aside time to journal, doing a relationship check-in with our partner, or participating in mindfulness or affirmations during our morning routine. When we use our intentionality to create space for ourselves and others, this helps to prevent letting life pass you by (also referred to as autopilot or going through the motions).

Okay, what’s the next step?

First, we must assess what we create space for currently. Then we should be evaluating if this energy is contributing positively or negatively to our well-being, and it is aligning with our core values. Do you take time for yourself during your morning coffee and practice gratitude or are you stuck scrolling social media? We can better allocate our time and energy if we have appropriately evaluated how our capacities are impacting our mental health. What are you currently putting your time and energy into?

But why is it important?

It can work to prevent avoidance – which is a major automatic function of anxiety. If we have strong values rooted in honesty but we are avoiding having a challenging conversation with our close friend, this can lead to anxious feelings that will linger in the relationship. If we create some space mentally and emotionally to organize and reframe our internal and external conflicts individually, this can allow us the permission to create that space in our relationships. To be clear, this process is not meant to be easy nor comfortable. This process absolutely belongs in the growth zone category! Nonetheless, just like anything, the more we practice it the better we become. A helpful tip is to always be compassionate and patient with yourself throughout.

How can I create space?

You can look at it as a self-care mechanism. I like to look at self-care through the eight forms of self-care: physical, mental, emotional, social, environmental, spiritual, professional, and financial. We can look at each of these categories in our life and ask ourselves how much space we are creating or needing to adjust to account for where our needs must be met. For example, if you’re feeling emotionally out of touch or that you emotionality is leading you to be more reactive lately, maybe it’s time you give yourself permission to create some space there! In this example, space may look like some mood tracking, emotional identification, down time, or processing practices!

Is this only something I do individually?

You can start there. But just like any practice, when we practice it individually, we can then expand that into our interpersonal relationships. Once we recognize the relief and abundance space can produce, we may want to extend that into our social or romantic realms. We might see that when we start making space for others to explore their insecurities, fears, or anxiety, we will gain better insight and understanding into their individual experience. Hopefully, this creates a cycle of increased safety, reassurance, validation, and attunement in our interpersonal relationships.

Here are some narratives to practice making space:

“Can I make space for something?”

“Do you want to make space for that?”

“I think it’s important to create some space for this.”

“Creating space for my rest is important to me.”

“If I don’t make space for that it could make me feel anxious.”

“I care about your experience and would like to make some space for understanding.”

Book Recommendation:

Daring to take up space by Daniell Koepke

Meet Melanie, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) and author of this post!

Melanie Saija
RP(Q), MACP (In Progress)
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
melanie@reboundtotalhealth.ca

“I genuinely enjoy connecting with people and exploring various problem-solving options. I definitely resonate with the idea of being a ‘people person’ and think my natural ability to connect with individuals from all walks of life is one of my greatest strengths in the work I do. I love collaborating with my clients to help them overcome their goals.”